Shaina’s Testimony
You can share your testimony in many ways. By the words you speak, by the example you set, by the manner in which you live your life. Sometimes we focus on the mess or the broken dream, but in all the mess, God sees greatness. When we share what we have experienced and the impossible situations we have been faced with, no one can refute it. It doesn’t matter if anyone agrees with or believe what we believe. It’s your truth. It’s your story. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed of that. It could be the very story that inspires someone else or saves them from self destruction. The faith that my family, friends and myself have in trusted in the hands of God is what has brought and will continue to bring me through every odd that I have and will continue to face through my journey.
On Sunday, October 27, 2019, Shaina Clabo’s heart flatlined seven times. She was just 25 years old. She tells me, “It’s a day when the lives of my entire family would never be the same, especially for my children and my mother.” Her story is tragic, heartbreaking, and yet inspiring. Yes, you read that right. She coded seven times—flatlined. Her heart was shocked back to life seven times. She survived and is ready to tell us her story with the hope others learn from her mistake.
“I hope someone benefits from my mistake because I hate the thought of anyone feeling as miserable as I do. There are some days I don’t even want to live anymore.”
Shaina, like many young people, did not realize her potential. She had the world at her fingertips. I remember visiting with her years before the accident. She was young with vibrant blue eyes, full of life, and a gorgeous smile. She was around 16 years old at the time. We were standing outside her mamaw and papaw’s house on a sunny summer day. I don’t remember our discussion, but she was happy and excited to go out that night. Who’d of thought 11 years later she would be fighting to survive, and approximately 12 years later discovering her purpose.
Shaina and I worked together to tell her story. Please read it. Please share it. Please remember it, especially the moment you are fueled by alcohol and picking up your car keys. Stop yourself, put the keys down, and stay put. Remember her story when you see someone under the influence. Don’t let them drive. If necessary, take their keys. Call the police if needed. Don’t let them go.
Shaina Tells Her Story
My story is sad. I was living in darkness and despair, and it was unforgiving. It led me down a dangerous, winding road drenched in blinding alcohol. I stopped seeing the joy of life and its beauty long before October 27, 2019, but I didn’t realize it. I was seeking acceptance, companionship, friendship, and love. Today, I often let my mind drift back in time to warped memories. Memories of holding my children’s hands as we laughed and jumped together on the trampoline, running with them, giving them a bath, playing games together, and the days they drove me crazy. You know the simple things. I took so much for granted. I didn’t realize life’s beauty was right in front of me—my kids, my family, the mountain that I still hate at times, my home, that dirt road I walked as a kid, blackberries, chickens, and so much more. I assume most people forget the good stuff in life.
I spent my time trying to fit in with people who didn’t care two shits about me. Like me, they were living without purpose. They were toxic. We had the potential to do much more with our lives. None of us worried about tomorrow, nor did we care. Today, I rarely hear from these “friends” unless I call them. I hope my tragedy was a wake-up call for them. Life tragedies change your perspective, especially on the definition of true friends—true friends:
- Hold each other’s hands in tough times;
- Offer a shoulder to cry on;
- Share belly laughs;
- Keep secrets;
- Keep each other safe;
- Stick up for each other;
- Ensure you never feel alone;
- They let you know you’re loved.
After high school, I was focused on college and finished with a 4.0 as a registered medical assistant. My focus slowly shifted between then and that dreaded day. I lost focus and purpose. Today, I have a lot of time to focus my mind. However, my body has lost connection to my mind. It’s pissed off and is no longer answering my mind. I need help with just about everything most take for granted — taking a bath, dressing, preparing meals, getting out of bed, bathing and dressing my children, back to bed, and doing it all again the next day.
“Today you can be held legally liable for knowingly letting someone drive drunk.”
“I coded seven times on the flight to the
University of Tennessee.”
“I flatlined seven times.”
“Shocked to back to life.”
“I didn’t think there’d be a day I would wake up in a hospital bed in unbelievable pain, on a respirator, barely breathing, and only able to move my eyes, because of the f’d-up decision to drink and drive.”
It’s embarrassing to admit, but I left a party drunk, got in my car, and drove off the side of a mountain. I knew the life I was living was wrong. I didn’t know how to regain purposeful traction and stop, and the alcohol blinded me. I didn’t think it would happen to me. I didn’t think there’d be a day I would wake up in a hospital bed in unbelievable pain, on a respirator, barely breathing, and only able to move my eyes, because of the f’d-up decision to drink and drive. But, it did happen to me.
I laid in my car clinging to life off the side of a mountain for over five hours before anyone found me. Others probably drove by and didn’t realize I was in the car. I am grateful to the man who stopped. If he didn’t turn around and come back to see if someone was in the car, I wouldn’t be writing this. I would be another dead-drunk-driver statistic. I am forever grateful. I am happy to be alive through it all. Even through the daily struggles, I am grateful to be alive with my children and family. Glad to have hope for a brighter tomorrow. I am so happy no one else was hurt or killed. I am delighted I have this opportunity to maybe stop another person from following my same path of destruction. Trust me, your life isn’t that bad. You may be facing challenges; alcohol is not the answer. Realizing the beauty in front of you is the answer. Please look no further than me and make a choice to never drink and drive.
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The photos may be too graphic for some.
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As soon as the helicopter landed, the doctors rushed me to the trauma unit. They performed an emergency MRI. The neurosurgeon told my family,
“We’re not sure she will survive through surgery. If she does, it will be touch and go. She is in very critical condition.”
Then, straight to surgery to place pins to stabilize my fractured C5 and C6 vertebrae. They also put a rod in my femur bone. They finished with 32 stitches and 28 staples to repair my gruesome head laceration. Although I did make it through surgery, the doctors still didn’t give my family much hope for survival, and if I survived, I would be completely paralyzed from the neck down. There wasn’t much hope.
While I laid in a coma, my family had a hard time hearing the words from the doctors that if I lived,
“It will be a long haul–weeks and months. A lot of physical therapy and hard work. If discharged from the hospital, she will be in a rehab unit, and there’s a slim chance that she’ll get back to how she used to be.”
They were right—this is hard work, and it sucks. It sucks for everyone taking care of me, and it sucks for my kids seeing their mom paralyzed.
When I first woke up in the trauma ICU unit, it felt like I was living in hell, and I was. I felt like this was a punishment for everything I did wrong in my life before the accident. Maybe I was being punished. My body couldn’t move. I felt trapped in my motionless body. I was scared. I was afraid of the future for myself, my children, and my family. I couldn’t remember what happened. But I sure did know my body lay broken. Panic attacks consumed me to the point of blacking out. My lungs barely worked, and I was on a ventilator. I was also in emotional distress. Visions of my father replayed in my mind. My father was paralyzed in an automobile accident years ago (unrelated to alcohol). Our accidents are just shy of being 20 years apart. My father and I are not close. I could never depend on him, and I never felt loved by him. I sure didn’t’ want to be like him in any way—ever. Now, I was lying in a hospital bed told I might not survive, and if I did, I would be paralyzed—just like the man I vowed to myself years ago to never be like him. I told my mom and my cousin, Keisha, to unplug me from the ventilator and remove my breathing tube. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I had many visions, many emotions running through my mind each time I awakened. Each time I would blackout in a panic. It took time. Accepting my new lifestyle isn’t ideal. It’s something I have struggled with for over a year now. It sounds like a long time, doesn’t it.? It’s not. Time never stops. No matter what, time keeps ticking, and there’s no need to waste it. I can’t change my circumstances or the past. What I can do is hope and strive for a better tomorrow. With precious time, I know it will get easier. At least, I hope it does.
I am paralyzed from the hips down. I can use my arms, but I still struggle to use my hands. Luckily, my mind is still intact. I am grateful for how far I have come. I was paralyzed from the neck down. I am sharing my story with hopes someone will benefit from this tragedy. That will be one or more lives saved. If even more people benefit, then more lives are saved. My focus today is to make a difference. I want my children to know regardless the circumstances; we have a purpose. I want you to know that. I have a purpose and meaningful goals. I plan to accomplish everything my mind focuses on doing. My body will have to get over it. Yes, through it all, I still have a sense of humor. Well, on occasion. There are days I am miserable. Those are the days I don’t want to keep living. It’s hard. On my worst days, I keep going, even though it flippin’ sucks.
Before the spinal cord injury, I was ready to take on the world. At least, that was my attitude. I seemed to have confidence. However, I was crumbling inside. Thus, I abused alcohol to soften the pain. Since the accident, I have fought mentally and physically like a warrior to muster up enough strength to wake up to face another day. Losing the ability to do most things for yourself is a reality check. It sucks. It most certainly opens your eyes to what we take for granted. Scratching my head is a tall order. Putting on my shirt is a taller order. My recovery may not sound impressive, but it’s nothing short of a miracle, according to my doctors. I am grateful for it. Medically speaking, with a spinal cord injury such as mine, it’s incredible I have regained any feeling below my neck. Today, I have control of my arms. My hands do not grip well, but I can now eat by myself, brush my teeth, brush my hair, and put on a shirt. For a while, I was paralyzed from the neck down.
It’s hard for me to accept my limits. The way my body has atrophied after paralysis makes it hard for me to look at myself in the mirror. I miss having simple privacy moments. I miss running outside with my kids and jumping together on the trampoline. I miss waking up and getting out of bed without a second thought. I miss feeling warm water splattering from the faucet onto my toes as I lay in a bubble bath. I miss my old me. This new me feels trapped in a body that refuses to cooperate.
“My family and friends endured fear and pain, watching me hang on to the threads of life. I never wanted that for them. My suffering is their suffering. I am grateful they take care of me with so much love and care.”
You may be asking why no one at the party took my car keys. For one, most of us were all under the influence and not thinking clearly. Alcohol does that. A sober friend at the party wanted me to go home with her when she was leaving. Unfortunately, another friend who was also under the influence said not to worry; they had it under control and claimed she took my keys. My keys never left my car from the time I arrived until the time I went. Remember, “Don’t let drunks drive.” Today, you can be held legally liable for knowingly letting someone drive under the influence.
I am here today writing my story because of faith, prayer, and grace. I don’t doubt that. My family and friends placed my life in God’s Hands. Our faith in God is what ensured I beat the odds and survived. I was paralyzed from the neck down. Today, I am paralyzed from the hips down. I wish my hands worked better, but they will in time. I hope to walk again one day. Through this journey, God has given me the grace to forgive myself. If you continue following my recovery, you will see my doctors’ predictions for me has nothing on the mercy of God.
Shaina is an inspiration to all of us. She continues to adapt to her new life and works hard in therapy to regain strength. Her overwhelming desire to inspire others is impressive. She hopes to help others realize the beauty of life, remain diligent, and live their lives with purpose. She has an inspiring hope about her. She has an extreme desire to walk again. She has applied and is waiting to hear if she is accepted to participate in a promising research study for spinal cord injuries. As Shaina said, “Even on my worse days, I keep going.” She’s been sober for nearly two years.
Are you thinking about fueling yourself and vehicle with alcohol? Remember Shaina’s story and plan, have a place to stay or a designated driver. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t let drunks drive. It can happen to you. It can happen to your family. It can happen to your friends.
Love this ❤️
This story has touched my heart in so many ways this is my daughters story and I thank God every single day that she is still with us and I believe she is here to tell her story and I believe she will walk again with Gods help
I have more faith in you than you will ever know Shaina. I believe whole heartedly that you got this, and God will get you where you wanna be be with your strength, hardheadedness and most of all your faith.